Idle Twins
by Slayer-Enfiniti
Summary: The twins get bored and try to set up Tamaki and Haruhi.  But a twist that no one saw coming could mean failure... TamaHaru.
1. Boredom

Well, this is one actually started as a dream. Then, one long, boring college class later I had written down the first two chapters… Before I knew it I had a fully fledged story on my hands! Annnyway, this is just a silly thing my mind came up with.

Oh, and spoilers to episode… 8. I checked. It helps if you've seen the whole thing, but it's not necessary.

…sniff If _I_ owned Host club, the twins would've gotten girls. Maybe another set of twins… hmm… Anyway, me no own.

* * *

Chapter One: Boredom

Hikaru yawned. History class was soooooo boring. The teacher's voice droned on like a drunken bumblebee, and Hikaru felt his eyelids droop as he tried to catch some of the nearly unintelligible words.

"…Then Ieyasu and Nobunaga divided their troops into three sections and surrounded the Anegawa to force Asakura to…" Hikaru sighed and turned to his twin next to him. He smirked. Kaoru was doodling again, pencil wandering across the paper. Hikaru leaned a little closer and his smirk grew. Little doodles depicting Tamaki undergoing various tortures sprawled across an empty page of 'notes.' He leaned closer to whisper in his twin's ear.

"And you're supposed to be the nice one." Kaoru chuckled, putting the finishing touches on a mini-Tamaki roasting over a fire. He was gagged and bound and appeared to be holding a flag that said 'Come to the Circus.' Hikaru grinned in understanding.

"A bit unhappy about the club's theme this week, are we?" Kaoru's mouth twisted and he put a clown nose on mini-Tamaki.

"Gee, what makes you say that?" His normally good-tempered twin asked sourly. Hikaru took his own pencil and made the flames under mini-Tamaki bigger. Kaoru couldn't help but smile.

"Weren't you listening to the lecture? Looked like you were about to nod off right next to me," Kaoru murmured. Hikaru waved it off.

"Nah. We can just borrow Haruhi's notes later." Hikaru looked to his other side where Haruhi sat in what was _supposed_ to be _his_ seat. He shook his head in disgust. The teacher should know better than to try to split up twins. Hearing her name, Haruhi turned, pencil still working furiously. She glared at the grinning twins.

"I wouldn't count on it, Hikaru." She muttered. He put a hand to his heart and the other against his forehead dramatically and raised his voice as he flopped against Kaoru.

"Oh, Kaoru, I've been shot down!" He declared. Kaoru smothered a chuckle. The teacher paused in his lecture and peered nearsightedly toward them.

"Er, Kaoru, Hikaru, whichever it is, maybe you might pay more attention in a better setting. Detention, perhaps?" The teacher nodded decisively and returned to his lecture. "Then Takeda Katsuyori was defeated at the battle of Nagashino, thanks to…" Hikaru sighed, but his eyes sparkled and he couldn't stop a small smirk from forming. Kaoru pouted.

"No fair, Hikaru!" Haruhi sighed, flipping a page in her notebook.

"Tamaki-senpai and Kyouya-senpai aren't going to be happy. You two were full up for today."

Hikaru leaned back in his seat, well pleased with himself. "They all just wanted to see us dressed up like clowns. My good fashion sense won't allow me to wear such things." He said haughtily. "Besides, all it would be is public humiliation." He turned to his twin. "Even detention's more fun than that, right?" Kaoru nodded, twirling his pencil and speculatively eyeing the map the teacher was using to illustrate his lecture. Hikaru grinned.

"…Then Nobunaga returned to his home-" Kaoru threw his pencil like a dart. It flew straight to the front of the classroom and pegged the map. Kaoru grinned.

"In Nagoya, right?" The class peered closer and, yes, the pencil-dart was right through Nagoya. The entire class burst out laughing (except Haruhi, who just sighed, well accustomed to the boys' tricks by now). None laughed harder than Hikaru and Kaoru though, pounding each other on the back and practically crying, they were laughing so hard. The teacher turned an interesting shade of red.

"BOTH of you will stay after school with me!" Kaoru high-fived his twin and they still laughed.

"Sure, Sensei!" They cheerily said together. On cue, the bell rang for the end of school. They watched Haruhi gather her stuff to go.

"Have fun being a dancing bear, Haruhi!" Hikaru practically sang. Haruhi grumbled, had she not been worried about keeping her scholarship and paying off her debt she would have joined them in a heartbeat. Tamaki had really jumped off the deep end with this idea. But, good person that she was, she left for the torture sure to await her in the third music room. The twins exchanged a glance and settled in to endure detention.

* * *

Actually it wasn't too bad. The teacher gave them a huge packet on Nobunaga and retreated to the front of the room, occasionally shooting a glare back at the two. Hikaru nibbled his bottom lip.

"Kaoru?" Kaoru tapped his new pencil. _15. In what way did his father's funeral prove detrimental to Nobunaga's claim to lordship?_

"Yeah?" Hikaru sighed.

"Our little toy doesn't seem too happy, huh?" Kaoru set his pencil down and looked over, then down.

"Yeah…" Hikaru felt an idea coming on.

"Kaoru?" Kaoru glanced over again, amused.

"Yeah?"

"Tono seems to have too much time on his hands, doesn't he?" He saw an evil grin start to appear on Kaoru's face and felt an answering grin start to grow on his own.

"My dear Hikaru, are you suggesting what I think you are?" Hikaru's grin widened.

"This could be very, very fun…"

And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo Haruhi-and-vice-versa game began.

* * *

Yatta! First chapter! My brain's been dry as a desert lately, but maybe this is the start of my recovery! So, stay tuned for chapter 2, A Wrench in the Works, coming soon! 


	2. A Wrench in the Works

Wow, I'm sooo impressed with the responses::sniff:: You readers make my life worth living! Anyway, here's the next chapter for you, and what a chapter it is!

…and if I owned Host Club Honey would suddenly get a growth spurt and be just the way he is at 6 feet tall. :)

* * *

"_Our little toy doesn't seem too happy, huh?" Kaoru set his pencil down and looked over, then down._

_"Yeah…" Hikaru felt an idea coming on._

_"Kaoru?" Kaoru glanced over again, amused._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Tono seems to have too much time on his hands, doesn't he?" He saw an evil grin start to appear on Kaoru's face and felt an answering grin start to grow on his own._

_"My dear Hikaru, are you suggesting what I think you are?" Hikaru's grin widened._

_"This could be very, very fun…"_

_And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game began._

* * *

Chapter Two: A Wrench in the Works 

The rest of detention flew by, with the two of them discussing the finer points of their plot in whispers. When they finally got free, they headed to the third music room and got there just as Host Club closed.

They came in to see Tamaki (still in his sparkly ringleader outfit) cleaning the tables. Hearing the door open, Tamaki turned.

"Sorry, we- Hey! Kaoru, Hikaru!" Tamaki stomped over to them. "You two left us!" The doppelgangers shrugged in unity.

"We had detention." Hikaru said, already bored. Tamaki made puppy faces.

"How could you, after I worked so hard on these beautiful outfits, even going to the length of designing them myself…" Hikaru tuned him out and looked around.

"Oi, where's Haruhi?" Tamaki paused in his tirade.

"Ah, she left. She actually went a little early today, I guess."

Kaoru cocked his head. "Really? Usually we give her a ride home…" Hikaru's shoulders slumped.

"Bummer." They had planned to use the car ride home to start Phase One, but now it would have to wait until tomorrow. Suddenly, outside thunder growled. The twins and Tamaki whirled to face the window.

"How was she getting home?" Kaoru asked in a small voice. Tamaki's face turned pasty white as thunder crashed again.

"She was walking." He took off at a dead run. Hikaru turned to Kaoru.

"Should we follow?" Kaoru nodded and they ran after, a little less desperate. After all, it wouldn't do to get there first.

* * *

_Curse it, curse it, curse it! _Haruhi thought desperately as she huddled in a wet ball under a picnic table in the park. She had tried to hurry, begging off early from Host Club and even taking a shortcut through the park to try to get home before the storm hit, but she still hadn't been all the way home when the storm hit, the first thunder peal sending her scurrying to the nearest hiding spot. It was a good thing the city was cheap; the tables were heavy plastic instead of metal. She winced as another bolt struck, louder than the one before. She felt tears fill her eyes. If only Tamaki-senpai was there. Haruhi wanted him to hold her close like he had at the beach, to comfort her. But, no, Tamaki was probably still at Host Club. He'd be chewing out the twins for not showing up today. 

"Senpai…" She whispered. A faint sound reached her ears, much different from the power play in the sky above.

_"HARUHI!!!"_ Haruhi straightened as much as her hiding place would let her.

"Senpai?" She looked around to see Tamaki running full-tilt through the park toward her. "SENPAIIIIII!!!!!"

"HARUHI!!!" Lightning flashed again, throwing Tamaki into bass relief as the loudest thunder yet roared across the sky. Haruhi, shaking with relief, crawled out from underneath her cover and launched herself into Tamaki's already open arms. He held her close for a moment, then pulled back to look at her face. His eyes softened when he saw the tear trails running down her face in time with the rain, and he pulled her close again.

"Sorry I'm late." He murmered, pressing her against him. Haruhi shook her head vigorously.

"S'Okay, Senpai." Thunder blared and Tamaki winced as Haruhi's nails dug into his back. As soon as she realized, Haruhi let go and pulled back, red. "Sorry…" He shook his head, but she persisted. "No, really, Senpai. …I'm sorry. You came out in the rain after me and all I do is cry and dig in my nails. You didn't even get time to change." She ran a finger down the high collar of his cape and forced a smile. "You... You're so good to me, Senpai." Tamaki smiled softly, arms gesturing out in a movement of natural grace no techniques could fake.

"I guess I am. Don't you realize it, Haruhi? It took me a while, too. I lo-" A bolt of blindingly bright light arced down to Tamaki. Haruhi felt a wave of scaldingly hot air wash past her about the time she realized what was going on. As sound filled her mind and made it go red, there was only one thing that she could think about.

"TAMAKIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!" Her world went dark.

* * *

The twins sat in their carefully concealed hiding places, horror-struck. They blinked rapidly to clear their vision and tried to clear their roaring ears. Of all the possible outcomes, Tamaki almost confessing love to Haruhi and being _struck by lightning,_ of all things, hadn't even been in the top 100. They watched, rooted to the spot, as first Tamaki, and then Haruhi slumped to the ground with unpleasant thumps. This jolted Kaoru out of his shock enough that he stood, unsteadily stepping toward the prone pair. Hikaru followed. Kaoru knelt by Haruhi while Hikaru walked over to Tamaki. 

"T- Tono?" He asked tentatively. No response. He knelt down, absentmindedly taking in the smoking outfit and the new soot streaks on their lord. Hysteria began to form in Hikaru's mind as he frantically groped for a pulse, trying to remember long ago first aid lessons.

…

…

…Finally a weak, fluttering beat registered and Hikaru gave a sigh of relief.

"He's alive." He told his twin in a low, flat voice, panic not completely gone from him. Kaoru nodded, relieved.

"Nnh…" Haruhi stirred, and Hikaru stood, hand going to his cell phone.

"I'll call an ambulance." Kaoru nodded, eyes traveling to Tamaki's unmoving body. Hikaru moved a ways off for better reception and dialed emergency.

Haruhi stirred again and her eyes fluttered open, a little unfocused. "K- Kaoru?" He smiled, internally breathing another relieved sigh. Haruhi was still Haruhi, even dazed.

"You sure gave us quite a fright." Haruhi blinked, and comprehension flooded her features.

"Senpai!" She struggled to get up, but Kaoru's gently restraining hands held her down.

"It's okay. Hikaru's calling an ambulance, so just rest easy for a moment." Haruhi sagged back against Kaoru.

"It's all my fault…" She whispered, eyes drooping down.

"It's okay, Haruhi." Kaoru repeated, feeling the futility of the words as they left his mouth. His heart twisted as she fainted again, this time against him.

And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game was set aside.

* * *

Well, there's chapter two T.T Don't worry, I'm not killing off Tamaki. Sooo, chapter three, Waiting, is up next. See you soon! 


	3. Waiting

Since this is a short chapter I decided to put it up now. Enjoy!

…If I owned Host Club Renge would be found drowned, strangled and poisoned with her mouth sewn shut at the bottom of some forgotten ravine.

* * *

"_Senpai!" She struggled to get up, but Kaoru's gently restraining hands held her down._

"_It's okay. Hikaru's calling an ambulance, so just rest easy for a moment." Haruhi sagged back against Kaoru._

"_It's all my fault…" She whispered, eyes drooping down._

"_It's okay, Haruhi." Kaoru repeated, feeling the futility of the words as they left his mouth. His heart twisted as she fainted again, this time against him._

_And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game was set aside._

* * *

In a short time the entire host club was gathered at one of the Ootori family hospitals, anxiously awaiting news on Haruhi and Tamaki.

"Now let me get this straight." Kyouya said, massaging a growing headache. "Tamaki was _hit by lightning???_" Hikaru nodded, pacing with Kaoru back and forth across the waiting room.

Honey played with the ears of his stuffed bunny Usa-chan. "Tama-chan, you idiot." Mori nodded.

There was a collective sigh.

A moment later a female doctor came out of the back. The twins stopped pacing, rocking back on their heels. They silently implored the doctor with identical gigantic puppy eyes.

She sighed, caving in. "If you're _quiet_," she started with a pointed glare. "…you can go see them." The words were hardly out of her mouth before they started down the hall, the rest of the Host Club hot on their heels. They reached the door and, holding their collective breath, opened the door.

"Hey, guys." Haruhi greeted them, sitting in a hospital bed without a scratch on her. As one the Host Club gave a sigh of partial relief.

"Haru-chan, are you okaaaay?" Honey practically pleaded. Haruhi nodded.

"I'm fine. They're going to keep me overnight just to be safe, but it's really just a precaution…" She glanced guiltily at the bed next to her, mostly obscured by a curtain. "Senpai's going to have to stay a while, but they haven't told me too much yet."

"Ahem." The group turned to see the doctor walk in. "I can help you there." She pulled back the curtain. "Suou-san, as you can see, is not awake." Honey clutched Usa-chan close.

"When will Tama-chan be awake?" The doctor shook her head sadly.

"No way of knowing. He's in a coma, so it could be 2 minutes or 2 years before he wakes. It just depends on Suou-san."

The Host Club sighed, and Kyouya readjusted his glasses.

"So there's nothing to do but wait." He stated coolly. "Just great."

* * *

Word spread quickly through school the next day. With Tamaki, their 'king,' incapacitated, Kyouya pointed out that it wasn't even worth opening Host Club. So to the disappointment of much of the female population, Host Club closed, with plans to reopen when Tamaki awakened. Suddenly finding themselves with time and no will to go to or pay attention at school, the members took turns watching their slumbering lord.

And a week passed.

* * *

Hikaru was sick of questions. No, Tono wasn't awake yet. No, no Host Club until he was. Yes, they were doing everything possible, and no, you couldn't help out. Already Tamaki was in danger of drowning in the flowers sent by his adoring fangirls. Hikaru sighed. Sometimes, it was aggravating being in the center of attention. Sometimes he wished Kaoru and he had never opened their world, that they had stayed isolated and immune from the rest of the world. But most of the time it was better they had. _Most_ of the time.

"Kaoru-kun-" Hikaru cut off his classmate, the girl sitting in front of him.

"Hikaru." She blushed.

"Oh, sorry. It's Haruhi-kun's turn today, isn't it?" She glanced sidelong at the empty seat. While they had not made public what they were doing, it was well known that every day one of the Host Club members would be absent from school, and everyone knew where they were. Hikaru nodded, ready with the answers to the oh-_sooo_-common questions, but his classmate surprised him with a big grin. "I just wanted to say, I think it's so great what you guys are doing!" Hikaru, a little flustered, stuttered, face turning red.

"W-Wh-Wha?"

"I mean, with Tamaki-senpai and everything." She blushed again, and Hikaru remembered her as being one of Tamaki's regulars. "It's so great that you're all loyal to him, even…" _Even when there's no sign of improvement._ She didn't have to say it, and the words hung in the air. Hikaru looked down.

"Well, he's Tono. He's an idiot sometimes and not too bright, but without him, there's… no Host Club." He finished sadly.

Without warning his pocket vibrated. Clapping a hand to his cell phone he quickly excused himself, nearly running over Kaoru (coming from the bathroom) on his way out. In the hall, he opened the phone, heart hammering in his throat.

"Hikaru here…" His eyes widened. "…"

"Tono's awake?"

And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game had hope.

* * *

Yaaay! And we're back and running! So, will Tama-chan be fine, or will there be _unforeseen sideeffects?????_ Find out in the next chapter: Awakenings and Repercussions. Soon! 


	4. Awakenings and Repercussions

Hey everyone! It's Enfiniti again, and here's chapter 4!!!!! Longest one yet, time to see what happens…

…If I owned Host Club Kyouya would suddenly find his notebook missing…ehehe. Anyway.

* * *

"_Well, he's Tono. He's an idiot sometimes and not too bright, but without him, there's… no Host Club." He finished sadly._

_Without warning his pocket vibrated. Clapping a hand to his cell phone he quickly excused himself, nearly running over Kaoru (coming from the bathroom) on his way out. In the hall, he opened the phone, heart hammering in his throat._

_"Hikaru here…" His eyes widened. "…"_

_"Tono's awake?"_

_And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game had hope._

* * *

Chapter Four: Awakenings and Repercussions 

A few minutes earlier…

Haruhi sat next to Tamaki's bed. The chair she was in was hard and uncomfortable, but she was so deep in thought that she didn't notice.

_"It took me a while, too. I lo-"_ Tamaki hadn't been able to finish his sentence. What had it been that he had tried to say?

What could it have been, Haruhi mused. Well, it took him a while to realize almost everything, so that wasn't any help. Rapidly she blushed, balling her dress in her fists. It _couldn't_ have been…

Suddenly, movement drew her eyes down toward Tamaki. Had... his eyelids just flickered? Maybe it was a change in the lighting. No, there it was again, a definite movement! She held her breath as Tamaki stirred.

"Ngh." His deep blue eyes fluttered open. Haruhi's breath caught in her throat as she exhaled.

"Tamaki-senpai?" His eyes slowly came into focus on her.

"Er, hi?" There was a question in his voice that gave Haruhi a chill, but she shook it off, watching Tamaki. He looked around the room, taking in the beeping machines, IVs, and the flowers that surrounded him. "I'm… in the hospital?" Haruhi nodded.

"You got hit by lightning." She smiled wryly. "You've been asleep for a week. Quite frankly, Senpai, you're lucky to be alive." _Fool's luck,_ she thought bemusedly.

Tamaki seemed to absorb all this rather well, blinking sleepily and trying to gather his wits. Then he smiled. He turned to the nearest bouquet and delicately removed a rose. He then turned to Haruhi, a smile playing across his lips.

"And I wake to find a fair princess waiting at my bedside. Tell me, Miss, how did I come by such fortune?" He winked as he handed her the rose. Haruhi, too stunned to react, took it and blinked. Tamaki never tried his host tricks on her. It was an unspoken rule in the club that no one actively tried to woo Haruhi. She blushed, casting about for a reasonable explanation of why Tamaki would act this way. Needing a little time, she stood.

"I- I'll be back." She left the room and pulled out her cell phone. "…Hikaru-kun? Tamaki-senpai's awake. Yeah, he's acting a little strange, but that's probably to be expected…" Hikaru told her they'd be there as fast as they could, and she hung up. Taking a deep breath and smoothing the wrinkles on her dress, she walked back into the room. Tamaki smiled to see her, having pulled himself into an upright position.

"Ah, the princess has returned. Come closer, please, Miss, I find myself unable to move at the moment." He gestured to his IV cords. Haruhi looked down at her dress and a suspicion began forming. Her stomach knotted.

"Senpai, do… you know my name?" Tamaki, taken aback, faltered.

"I… don't believe I have been privileged with that information, princess. Might you save me from my unenlightened state with the knowledge?" He smiled his prince smile as Haruhi's heart fell. Somehow she forced a smile on her face.

"Ah, sorry, it's Fujioka Haruhi. I'm a first-year at Ouran." Tamaki frowned.

"Then why are you calling me Senpai? I'm a first-year too, ya know. I just came here from France a couple of weeks ago." He grinned. "So, Princess Haruhi, do you have a kotatsu? I was so sad; Kyouya says he doesn't have one." He pouted.

Haruhi smiled again, a little less fake. "Sure, I've got one." Tamaki's eyes got all sparkly and he sat up straighter.

"Ah! I told myself that when I got to Japan I simply _had_ to try a kotatsu. It's rumored that sitting under one with your family brings you closer together, since you must share foot room. Is this true? How does that work? Oh, this may be a bit forward but might I come over to your house and try this kotatsu?" Haruhi smiled, highly confused and fighting back tears.

"S-Sure, Senpai." Tamaki's face started to twist into a frown again, but at that moment one of the nurses walked in, clipboard in hand, not looking up.

"Suou-sama, you've got more guests." She said in a bored tone. "Honestly, all this visiting a guy who's in a coma, I mean after all, it's not like he can respond in his state-"

"So, who is it?" The nurse jumped about ten feet in the air.

"Ah, Suou-sama, you're awake?! S-Sorry, I just…" She gave up and ran out. Haruhi stood again.

"It's your friends. I'll go talk to them first. Be back." Tamaki, a little baffled, nodded and Haruhi virtually ran out of the room.

Honey, Mori, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kyouya were all waiting just outside the door. Haruhi bumped into Kaoru and stopped, mumbling an apology. The twins and Honey immediately barraged her with questions, so many running together no one could have made any sense of the jumble. When she didn't answer to the onslaught, they faltered to a stop.

"Haruhi?" Hikaru asked in a small voice.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" Kaoru interjected. "With Tono?" Looking at her feet, Haruhi nodded. The group went dead quiet.

"K-Kyouya-senpai," Haruhi started, "Maybe you should be the only one to see Tamaki-senpai for a while." There were stuttered protests, but the look on Haruhi's face brought most of them to a stop. She sighed, uncertain how to blunt the shock. In the end, she gave up and just said it simply. "He… Tamaki-senpai thinks it's last year. He says he just barely moved from France and he keeps babbling about weird things and how he just started at Ouran and…" Realizing she was babbling, she managed to pull herself together. Honey clutched Usa-chan closer.

"Tama-chan…" Kyouya adjusted his glasses, looking faintly wary.

"So he's like he was last year? Joyful." He sighed. "Just great." Haruhi looked at him questioningly, but he shook his head. "Let's all go in anyway. Maybe it'll snap him out of it." With that he walked into the room, followed by the rest of the group. When Kyouya walked in, Tamaki brightened.

"Kyouya, mon ami, just the person I wanted to see…" He trailed off as the rest of the club trooped in. At first Tamaki's face was blank, then it widened into a brilliant smile. "Truly amazing! Kyouya, how did you guess who I wanted to talk to? I'll never get how you do it, but this is the very group…" His eyes traveled to the twins, apprehension clear on their faces. "New haircut? I like it, it works really well for you two!" Hikaru and Kaoru exchanged a glance, frowning in concern. Tamaki snapped his attention back to Kyouya. "Anyway, I wanted to tell you, I've had a great idea!" He smiled so openly that everyone squirmed.

"Let's start a club!"

* * *

"It's called retrograde amnesia. It's not uncommon, especially in this type of trauma." The doctor sighed. Tamaki blinked. 

"I have amnesia?" The group nodded and Tamaki rubbed his head. "This is sooo confusing!"

Tamaki was now machine-free and sitting propped on the edge of the bed he had been in for the past week. The rest of the Host Club sat in various chairs around him.

"We told you," Hikaru started wearily. "Host Club's up and a big success, and it's your _second_ year at Ouran."

Kaoru picked it up. "All of us are members and have been since the beginning." The younger twin smiled understandingly. "It's confusing to explain, so it must be really overwhelming for you, Tono." Then Honey started.

"We have lots of fun all the time and eat cake and dress up!" Everyone smiled and nodded.

"Yeah." Mori's contribution to the conversation.

Kyouya opened his black notebook and turned a few pages. "The waiting list to be a Host Club guest is normally about 2 months. Yours, Tamaki, is never less than 3." Tamaki gaped at him.

"R-Really?" Then he grinned cheekily, striking a pose. "I mean, of course it is! I knew I was on to something! My instincts never fail!" The twins laughed.

"Oh, Tono's just fine!" They said in harmony. Tamaki's gaze traveled to Haruhi.

"What about you? You're not a host…" He smiled. "Ah, I see." Haruhi blinked as Tamaki struck a different pose. "You're OBVIOUSLY my most adoring fangirl!" Haruhi turned bright red.

"Am not!" The twins came up on either side of her.

"Am not!" "Am not!" They mocked. Haruhi shooed them away.

"A- Anyway, I am actually a host. I managed to fumble my way into a rather substantial debt, so I'm paying it off as a host. Only the Host Club knows I'm female." Tamaki looked at her with the I-sooo-don't-get-it face. She sighed. "Never mind."

Hikaru pulled Kaoru aside. "You know what this means, right?" Kaoru thought for a minute, then grinned.

"We're back in business?" Hikaru grinned in response.

And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game was reinstated.

* * *

Hehe, so now we know… but how will the twins get the two together when Tamaki doesn't even remember Haruhi? Btw, this chapter will make more sense if you see the Tamaki's/Kyouya's past episode, it's something like 23. Anyway, Chapter Five: A Plan in Motion. It's on the way! 


	5. A Plan In Motion

I can't believe it, but we're over the halfway mark… It'll be another chapter or two depending on where the breaks fall, but I'm going to try to make the chapters a bit longer, so it'll take me a bit longer to update. Please be patient, I'm posting it as fast as I can type it in between college classes!

…If I owned Host Club there would be a second season. T.T

* * *

"_What about you? You're not a host…" He smiled. "Ah, I see." Haruhi blinked as Tamaki struck a different pose. "You're OBVIOUSLY my most adoring fangirl!" Haruhi turned bright red._

"_Am not!" The twins came up on either side of her._

"_Am not!""Am not!"They mocked. Haruhi shooed them away._

"_A- Anyway, I am actually a host. I managed to fumble my way into a rather substantial debt, so I'm paying it off as a host. Only the Host Club knows I'm female." Tamaki looked at her with the I-sooo-don't-get-it face. She sighed. "Never mind."_

_Hikaru pulled Kaoru aside. "You know what this means, right?" Kaoru thought for a minute, then grinned._

"_We're back in business?" Hikaru grinned in response._

_And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game was reinstated._

* * *

Chapter Five: A Plan in Motion 

Soon Tamaki returned to school, and Host Club was cautiously reopened. Tamaki did surprisingly well, accepting his situation with a good hearted smile and learning as fast as he could. There were a few mistakes, of course. For the first couple of days he walked into one of the first year classrooms, confused when he didn't recognize anyone there. Then there was the time at Host Club when he surprised everyone by glomping Kyouya enthusiastically while speaking in French. Other than the occasional slip up, he learned at a frightening pace. But of course, Tamaki was still Tamaki. He fantasized constantly, and came up with wild ideas that had absolutely no base.

It was funny, though, to learn about one thing: the twins. Apparently Tamaki had invited them on pure potential, because the first time Hikaru started the 'brotherly love' act, Tamaki's jaw dropped to the floor. The twins, of course, took great enjoyment from this knowledge, and started pulling the act whenever they could, when before they mainly only did it when customers were around. Now, whenever Tamaki was around they would do it as fervently as they could, laughing as poor Tamaki turned cherry red. Haruhi rounded on them, a few days after they began.

"Come on, guys, take it easy on the poor guy!" She declared exasperatedly. Kaoru gave her puppy eyes.

"But, Haruhi, it's just so fun!"

Hikaru grinned fit to split his face in half. "I forgot how long it took us to develop this!" Kaoru nodded, grinning in return.

"Obviously our training is in Tono's blank spot." Haruhi shook her head in resignation.

"Hikaru, Kaoru…" She sighed. "What's the use? Eh, whatever." The twins gave each other high fives.

Another week passed, and Tamaki's obvious (to everyone else) crush on Haruhi began returning. Soon it was hard to tell the Host King was different at all, except for occasional blunders, or when someone asked him something from his blank time. Like when one of his customers carelessly asked how the chocolate she had given him last time had been. Tamaki frowned and dropped his head, crestfallen. He retreated to his Corner of Woe, where it became Haruhi's job to get him out, since he stayed there until Host Club closed.

"Senpai," she began, walking toward him. Tamaki turned to her, eyes watering, hugging his knees.

"Ha- Ha- Haruhi!" He blubbered. She sighed, resigned to her fate.

"Senpai, it's all right." Tamaki stood and staggered toward her, almost knocking Honey off his stool, where he sat eating one last cake.

"All right? ALL RIGHT?? My miserable brain has left me no trace of that fair maiden's hard work, of her dedication! How can this be all right? It's, its disastrous! Catastrophic!"

"Sen-"

"Terrible! Awful! Crushing!"

"Uh-"

"Ruinous, grievous, detestable, calamitous, shattering, tragic, cataclysmic-" Haruhi started to grow irritated.

"S-"

"…Dreadful, dire, demoralizing, dismal, devastating, abhorrent, odious, heinous, do you understand? It's-" Haruhi snapped. She grabbed a nearby tray and smacked him over the head with it, creating a loud bang and spattering Tamaki with cake crumbs.

"Goodness, Tamaki-senpai, I can't even get a word in!" She let out a deep breath. "Now, as I was saying-" Tamaki toppled forward, out cold. Haruhi sighed in defeat. "Great, just great." She sat next to him and rolled him over onto his back. "Senpai…"

The Host Club gathered around the two.

"Whoa, Tono's out cold!" Hikaru commented, inexplicably fascinated.

Kaoru grinned. "You must have quite the smack, Haruhi! Remind me not to get on your bad side!" Haruhi blushed, stammering.

"I- I- I didn't mean to-"

Honey came over and poked Tamaki's cheek. "Tama-chan must be sleepy." He commented. Kyouya snorted softly.

"I'd imagine a hit like that would be quite the sleeping pill." Haruhi turned redder. The twins broke into matching evil grins and pulled out markers, and proceeded to doodle on Tamaki's face while the poor idiot was unconscious.

"Kaoru, Hikaru," Haruhi started, "This is not funny!" She pushed past them and shook Tamaki's shoulder. "Senpai, wake up already!" But as everyone knows you can not tell an unconscious person to wake up. Well, you can, but it doesn't do much good. Tamaki remained down for the count, new scribbles all over his face.

Hikaru looked over at Kaoru and nodded. Time.

Kaoru strolled over to the discarded tray and picked it up. His face twisted to a look of horror.

"H- Haruhi!" She turned, frowning slightly, but her frown left when she saw the look on his face.

"Kaoru, wh-" Hikaru brushed past her and ran to his twin.

"It can't be!" He exclaimed, pulling the tray out of Kaoru's hands. "Oh, Haruhi, how could you?" His face twisted to one of anguish.

Haruhi stepped closer. "How could I what? What are you two talking about?"

"This is-" Kaoru.

"-the Tray-" Hikaru.

"-of Eternal Sleep!" They finished dramatically. Kaoru took the tray and held it up to the light, revealing a calligraphic engraving on the underside. It did indeed say 'Tray of Eternal Sleep keep out of reach of children 90 percent silver please recycle.'

"I thought it had been lost forever in the bowels of the school!"

Hikaru turned to Haruhi. "It's a relic dating back to the first days of the school, centuries ago…"

"The legend is-" Hikaru.

"-anyone hit by this-" Kaoru.

"-will NEVER wake!" They struck an impressive pose. Honey, eyes filling, clutched Usa-chan closer and shook his head back and forth vigorously.

"Uwaaah! No, Tama-chan!" He started running in circles. "It's my fault! We ran out of trays for sweets and I had to go into the old storeroom to get another, I didn't even check and it was just sitting there and I thought…" He wailed. "Poor Tama-chan!" Mori reached down and patted Honey's shoulder.

The twins snuck up behind Haruhi while she was looking at Honey and grabbed her.

"Now, we realize you didn't mean it-" They began.

"-but still-" Kaoru.

"-it is your fault." Hikaru. Haruhi, not quite sure of the twins' sincerity, (after all, they'd pulled tricks on her before) looked around. Honey, crying. Obviously believed. Mori, bent down, murmuring sympathy to Honey. Believed. Kyouya… Not there. When had he vanished? Tamaki, still passed out. Undeniable… The twins, looks of perfect sincerity on their faces. Haruhi sighed, shoulders slumping. The twins perked up, smelling weakness. They entwined arms with her. Kaoru gasped and turned toward his twin (and Haruhi.)

"Now, this may be true, but I heard a rumor… of a way to break the curse." Hikaru looked over at him (and Haruhi.)

"Oh, Kaoru, do tell us! For we are in direst need, without our Tono once more!" Kaoru let a small smile show.

"I… heard that the only way to break the endless sleep of one so smacked, is for the smacker to give the smackee…" His smile widened. "…a kiss." Haruhi turned crimson, and Hikaru could have sworn steam came out her ears.

"EHHHH????" The twins let Haruhi go and clasped hands with each other.

"Kaoru, how wonderful for you to have found a way out of this horrible quandary we have found ourselves in! All it will take is for noble Haruhi to lay a simple kiss on our Tono's lips and all will be well again!" Haruhi, still scarlet, spluttered.

"Now, y-y-y-you can't e-expect me to…" She trailed off and glanced over at the prone blonde. She gulped audibly. "…C-Can't expect me to…" Honey walked up to her, eyes still watering.

"Ha- Haru-chan, we _need_ Tama-chan." He gazed up at her with every ounce of cuteness he possessed, and Haruhi squirmed. He sniffed, eyes overflowing down his cheeks again. "W- We just got Tama-chan back!" Haruhi's eyes darted to Tamaki again, seemingly of their own will. She set her shoulders back and determination filled her features. She waked over to Tamaki and knelt. The twins inched closer, grins spreading. Honey stood on Mori's shoulders to see better.

Haruhi looked down at Tamaki. He could have been sleeping normally, she mused, except for the growing red mark on his forehead. She sighed, closing her eyes. The group watched on tenterhooks as she got redder and redder.

"I can't do it!" She exploded, hair falling in her eyes. The cluster of onlookers slumped in poorly disguised disappointment. At that moment Kyouya walked back in. "Kyouya-senpai!" She pleaded.

Kyouya's glasses flashed, and he gave his most polite, courteous smile.

"If you wake him, I'll reduce your debt by half." Haruhi fell backward.

"HALF???" She gasped.

Kyouya nodded. "More than half of our customers designate Tamaki. That's half our income."

Haruhi gulped. "Well, it was his fault," she tried weakly.

"…but… i-if Kyouya-senpai says so…"

She turned back to Tamaki.

She leaned down closer.

"I…"

Closer still.

"I…"

Centimeters away.

"I…"

Tamaki's eyelids flickered.

"…HAD BETTER GET A GOOD EXPLANATION!!!" Tamaki, awake at last, was literally levitated by the force of Haruhi's yelling. The twins moaned and smacked their foreheads. _So close!!!_

"Haruhi? You-" Tamaki looked around, a bit absurd with the twins' doodles still on his face. "Wait. Weren't we just in the park? What happened to the storm?" Haruhi sighed.

"Kyouya-senpai, YOU explain it to him." She grabbed each twin by an ear and hauled them into the hall.

And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game was discovered.

* * *

Yahoo! Well, poor twins tried so hard. BUT WHAT AWAITS THEM NOW???? (maniacal laughter in the background) Next chapter: All's Well that Ends Well. 


	6. All's Well That Ends Well

Well, here it is, the end of this story…T.T anyway, thanks ever so much for sticking with me through my little fantasy, and hope to see you next time!

…If I owned Host Club, then… I would own Host Club! (grin) -.- But I don't.

* * *

"_I…"_

_Closer still._

"_I…"_

_Centimeters away._

"_I…"_

_Tamaki's eyelids flickered._

"…_HAD BETTER GET A GOOD EXPLANATION!!!" Tamaki, awake at last, was literally levitated by the force of Haruhi's yelling. The twins moaned and smacked their foreheads. _So close!!!

"_Haruhi? You-" Tamaki looked around. "Wait. Weren't we just in the park? What happened to the storm?" Haruhi sighed._

"_Kyouya-senpai, YOU explain it to him." She grabbed each twin by an ear and hauled them into the hall._

_And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game was discovered._

* * *

Chapter Six: All's Well That Ends Well 

"Ah, ah, Haruhi…" "Ow, ow, Haruhi…"

She glowered at both of them. "An explanation, if you please?" She inquired sweetly. They cringed.

"Er…" "Well…"

They glanced at each other. "We were bored." They said together. Haruhi fumed.

"So the fact that you were bored gave you two the right to feed me some cock-and-bull story and try to make me _kiss Tamaki-senpai??!!_" The twins glanced at each other.

"Well," Hikaru started, glum.

"You haven't been all that cheerful lately and…"

"…We thought if you and Tono got together maybe you'd be happier…"

"…So we thought we'd give it a shot." Kaoru finished. At this point Haruhi was no longer glaring and was staring blankly at them. They dropped their head in shame.

"Sorry." "Sorry." Haruhi blinked.

"You were doing all this because you thought it would make me happier?" They nodded, cheeks red. Unexpectedly she pulled them both into a big hug. "Thanks for the good intentions, but I'm fine. Really." She smiled brightly. "But if you ever do something like this again…" She left the threat dangling and Kaoru and Hikaru sweatdropped.

"Yeah, yeah." They said, grinning. "Does this mean we're forgiven?" Haruhi sighed in mock frustration and nodded. The twins flashed victory signs. "Yes!"

Haruhi tapped her chin thoughtfully. "How the blazes did you guys get Honey-senpai to go along with it?" They grinned.

"You see," Kaoru drawled, leaning against the wall. "In order to make sure someone had to go into the old storage room, we had to make sure there was a shortage of trays." Hikaru draped his arms around Haruhi.

"But we ran into a problem, because while we were liberating trays, Honey-senpai happened to come in and he saw us. So, we told him what we were up to and for whatever reason, he decided to help us."

"He was bored." Kaoru commented dryly. "We haven't had any new type of sweet for some time now." He pouted. "Our plan was perfect! If Tono had been just a few seconds later…" Haruhi turned bright red. Smirking, the twins walked back into the music room.

"You, you doppelgangers, what have you done to Haruhi?!" She heard Tamaki shout. She turned, but wavered in the doorway. It should have been easy to brush this whole thing off as just another one of the twins' pranks, but…

Truthfully, she _had_ almost kissed Tamaki. If… She stopped and shook her head. No use thinking about ifs, she told herself. Smiling, she returned to her friends.

"HARUHI!!!" Tamaki glomped her enthusiastically. "Daddy was sooo worried those nasty look-alikes had done something to you…" She couldn't help but laugh as Hikaru stuck his tongue out at Tamaki. Still being forcefully restrained, Haruhi struggled.

"Senpai, I'm fine, you can let go!" Tamaki's only response was to hold her closer, effectively cutting off her air supply.

"Daddy'll protect you, Haruhi, don't you worry!" She stopped struggling, focusing instead on just getting air. What was the use, anyway? _You know what they say, you can't fight idiots…_ She smiled, and acting on impulse, hugged Tamaki back for once. The effect was instantaneous. Tamaki turned crimson and let go, allowing her to breathe once more.

"H-Haruhi?" She patted him on the head.

"You were suffocating me, Senpai! I do need to breathe, ya know." She added dryly. Tamaki retreated to his Corner of Woe again, and Haruhi heaved a sigh. She walked over to him again as the rest of the group watched, pretending to clean up. "Senpai… I…" She looked away, face coloring. "Thanks." Tamaki looked up at her from the floor. Haruhi blushed and stammered. "I- I mean, y- you're always looking out for me, and helping me and… you're just so good to me, Tamaki-senpai." She finished, not quite looking at him.

Tamaki smiled, not his usual Prince smile for the Host Club, but one that was a softer, somehow sweeter smile that made Haruhi's heart beat erratically. He stood in a fluid motion, and leaned in and lightly placed a kiss on her forehead.

"You're welcome." He turned and walked out of the room. Everyone stood in shock, Haruhi most of all. The silence was broken by a snort, then a chuckle, and finally full laughter as Hikaru gave in to mirth. Kaoru blinked, and a smirk spread slowly across his face.

"Well, Hikaru, looks like we succeeded after all." Hikaru regained his composure and nodded as they watched Haruhi slowly, in a daze, raise her hand to touch her forehead.

Kyouya smiled. "By the way, Hikaru, thank you for the email explanation. I must admit I was becoming confused." Hikaru gave him a thumbs up, and Kyouya readjusted his glasses. "Now, though… Now things get really interesting…" The twins, Honey, and Mori nodded, and the Hikaru and Kaoru grinned at each other. Success was sweet, and they planned to sink their teeth into it.

And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo-Haruhi-and-vice-versa game was a success.

((Owari))


End file.
